Thursday, 26 February 2009
To accept this award I have to write down 10 true facts about myself. Here goes then...
1) I am not GINGER.
2) When I was eight I fell off a chair that I'd been standing on. I had been vigorously impersonating a weeping willow blowing in the wind; the back of the chair tilted upwards and caught me unawares. I still have a dimple on my right buttock.
3) I once worked in Lloyd's of London, on a box.
4) I got 'Unclassified' in my Maths 'O' Level.
5) I came third in an egg and spoon race when I was six. Generally I am not good at sport.
6) I am blind as a bat without contact lenses or glasses.
7) I was once photographed on the London Underground by an American tourist. I was on my way to a Cure concert.
8) I couldn't read until I was seven and was put on 'special' reading books to help me learn.
9) I was once a contestant on a TV game show. I didn't win anything.
10) A donkey once stood on me.
I'm supposed to pass this award on... and I'd like to pass it on to the first five people who comment on this post...
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
So many thanks Eryl for passing this on to me. In return I have to talk about a few things that I love. Okay then.
I love my Smeg fridge freezer. It's fab and 1950's retro. It keeps things cold as well. Which is handy...
...because I also love cosmetics, which I keep in the Smeg. Not powder, obviously, because that would be silly. Handy tip: Lotions, potions and perfume keep for longer if you store them in a cool dark place. I also love smoked salmon and Champagne, which I also keep in the fridge.
Quite frankly the Smeg is a stylish storage solution for all kinds of things that need to be kept cold.
I also love adverts and music... and the sc-fi series Red Dwarf. I don't love cooking.
Crikey... now I'm supposed to pass this award on... well if anybody wants a shot at being Kreativ then please accept this award from me.
Monday, 23 February 2009
Meanwhile, to explain why I'm always banging on about having a fag in the shrubbery and pretending I'm Bette Davis, here is a short clip...
Film trivia: Bette won two Oscars during her career and believed that she created the term Oscar to describe the statuette.
Friday, 20 February 2009
And here's one that did air...
*UPDATE* And the Baldy Man for Kev!
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Yes I know I said I wasn't posting this week, but I developed an itch to post something!
I love this ad. I don't know why; banks aren't really popular at the moment. Perhaps it's the tune? Perhaps it's the idea of travelling at speed down a giant personal water shute? Perhaps it's because we get to see Mr Beastie grappling with a bunch of bananas...
Anyhow, to lighten our wallets and to make financial transactions simple, Barclaycard have developed contactless technology... It's nothing new though, the government have had it for years...
Monday, 16 February 2009
I'm taking a blogging break this week. I have books and blogs to read, and some 'people with extremely good taste' to check out; so I will be lurking in your bushes and trying to de-tangle it all.
And as they say, [who are 'they' btw? I've often wondered] you should always quit whilst you're ahead...
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Some women have it all. They spend their days reclining on DFS sofas in their M&S undies and use an array L’Oreal anti-ageing products. If that isn’t enough, they also have blokes dropping at their feet. One such woman is Debbie Von Arlington-Grange who lives in six bedroom neo-Georgian barn conversion, known as ‘Rose Cottage’, just down wind of the Dartford tunnel. She also has a luxury yacht called The Damson Dolly moored at Dover. And, as yet, she has no need for Always Envive pads.
Here we see boyfriend Eric, desperately trying to keep Debbie sweet. He fearlessly dives off the white cliffs and into the shark infested waters of the Dover straits. He swims to Debbie’s yacht, climbs aboard and delivers a box of Milk Tray. Then, without so much as a nibble on a coffee cream, Debbie sends him home. Why? Well partly because he forgot the Champagne; he didn’t bring any other pressies; he made a soggy mess all over her pink shag pile carpet; he’s always leaving the toilet seat up; he didn’t ring to say he was coming; he forgot her nougat allergy; he forgot she was on a diet this week; she needs to wash her hair; AND he doesn’t know what to do with his Dyson wand handle.
Sigh. Romance eh? Don’t you just love it? Anyhow, You’ll be pleased to know that I’m not as high maintenance as Debbie. I enjoy the simple pleasures in life; I don’t have a yacht - I’m quite at home on a lilo, and after a Moscow Mule or two, I’m easily persuaded to share my strawberry creams and soft centres….
*I’m not actually keen on the strawberry creams and soft centres… But I’d be quite happy with a fish finger sandwich and a Cadbury’s Crème Egg.
Monday, 9 February 2009
It's now been raining steadily for several hours... an idea crossed my mind...
...as if I would. I wouldn't let my... no I'm not going to finish this sentence, because I love this film.
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Anyhow, the rules of The Superior Scribbler Award state that I can now pass on this award to five fellow bloggers. I would have passed one on to Mrs P, but she has a preference for fitting tributes. And of course Gorilla Bananas deserves one, but he is a Gorilla... Many others who I thought of already have this award, such as Pat, Misssy and Mr Dotts. So my awards go to Daphne for Chocs Away, Old Girl! because she is always entertaining and inventive; Kevin Musgrove for Commonplaces because he always makes me laugh; Mr Coppens for Homo Escapeons because he loves playing with language; Lulu Labonne for Earwig sandwich because of her quirky style and Mr Gadj because he is lovely.
Right, I'm off to get sozzled then... and I'll try not to trip over my frock...
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Always are now moving into the incontinence pad market. This wee problem actually affects both men and women, although you wouldn't believe it from the TV commercials, which tend highlight it as a predominantly female issue. The new product from Always is called Envive and the ad shows us a young woman in her early twenties breezing around in a red frock being confidently incontinent. She looks genuinely happy and probably doesn't smell because she is wearing an Envive pad in her pants.
Anyhow, I reckon Always have missed a trick and their new product has been misnamed... surely they would've been better off calling it Impeed....
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
The people at ‘Always’ have come up with another genius idea to promote their sanitary products; their new towels have a touch of silky lightness and when not stuffed in your knickers you can turn them into a fetching pair of ballet pumps and wear them on your feet. I’m very impressed and will be buying a pair pronto.
Next on the agenda? Well obviously they are working on the multi-functional tampon; rumour has it that it’s to be diamond encrusted to give us girls ultimate security and satisfaction even when sitting on the spin drier. Can’t wait.
Have a happy period!!!
Sunday, 1 February 2009
I've been standing in the garden having a fag and it's deathly quiet. All muffled. By morning I will be cut off because the gritters don't work on a Sunday. I have food. And fags.
Anyhow, it's Jukebox Monday; I was going to play something snowy but I can't be arsed, so this is for Wendy who has sweaty eyelids...